I tried my best, sometimes things don’t happen the way you want them too, but everything happens for a reason.
I did not get in with all the other admits, but for some reason I had a feeling, a hunch that I am supposed to get in through appeals. I always felt like I was going to end up writing my appeal letter to Irvine saying why I think I would succeed there. Initially reading my rejection, I was angry, disappointed in myself, lost. I thought I was done for, was all my work done for nothing? Like my cousin, I got waitlisted at UCSD and rejected by Irvine, but if he could get in through appeals, I should be able to as well. He actually gave me positive encouragement and really believes in me. I took an hour and a half walk yesterday just to think about everything. I just come to realize that, it’s not over yet. Irvine just slapped me across the face and they’re saying that, if you really want it, come get it. So that’s what I got to do. I don’t want to look back and say I wish I tried harder. I just gotta do me and ignore everyone else’s achievements. 2 months ago I said I’ll know where i’m going. 2 months later, I do know, I will get in, just a little detour.
i know people who have already gotten into Irvine and I want to feel happy for them, some people I do, but I don’t know anybody who has gotten in and want it as bad as I do. That’s the only place I want to go… Getting rejected to Davis raped my beliefs in that sorta dream, but then I got waitlisted at SD for Bio like damn. If I can get waitlisted for the hardest major at the damn school, Irvine has got to gimme a shot. Anytime now I can be in tears of joy or just sadness man. FUCK. Everything happens for a reason right?
Screw this, I’m waiting on UC admission statuses and dont know if i’m going or not. It really annoys me how these smart ass kids apply for safe schools like UC Irvine. I have to hope theres an open spot when easily they can take their ass out of it and lemme get in. Like wtf, go to UCLA or some shit and let me have that. I understand I have to compete, but why compete with people not attending? That’s so lame. I truly believe I have a shot. After running on the treadmill for the past month or so, I went to the park to run because the treadmills were full at the gym. It was like 6 PM, dark skies and ish. I ran down to the park and I saw they finally put in the new turf so I could run my old long ass 4 mile route. It felt so good, cold air against me, and those baseball stadium lights for the little league players. It reminded me of football and all the memories flooded back to me after months of barely crossing my mind. I don’t blame myself though, It’s Canada’s fault my mind is occupied all the time ahah (: as;dlkfj. But like, real talk, I recalled all these moments throughout my life where coaches and teachers put me down, expecting me to stay down and like stare at their asses while they shit on me. Like what the fuck? I aint no toilet nigga. I felt like I just pushed them away, got up and told myself that I deserve to compete with anybody. I say to myself in my head that nobody wants it more than I do. TBH, there probably is another crazy dude working harder than me, but thats what fuels me, if I slack, I stay up late to make up. One of my bestfriends just found out today he didn’t get into the college he wanted. It makes me sad because I know he deserves to be in there, just as much as I should be accepted by now into Irvine. I just gotta pray and hope theres a reason for everything. I tried my best. Man it’s finals week and im stalling by writing this. YOLOSWAG. Gotta finish strong, and hopefully good things will come to me.
So today is january 24hunnid. I had a 4 day weekend entering this week, and 2 minimum days on thursday and friday. Well, it’s already thursday night and I haven’t done any hw all week, so procrastinated up until now, and plan on working til Friday morning, whatever time that may be. Yoloswag though. I got some sick tumblr songs recently. Im a huge fan of Aj Rafael as of recent, and the YG mixtape slaps, the slow songs on there are actually cool though. I got this new protein powder thing, a part of my transformation process. Some people hit the gym for like a month or 2, then I see them, thinkin they just came out a transformation chamber and into the incredible hulk, like wth. I’ve been doin this exercising garbage since last summer, and all I’ve done is slim down. I don’t wanna look like the Hulk, i’m shooting for like them leaner superheroes you know? Not really yolked, but like cut. But i’m yolked, lowkey. i wanna walk around in a tank top like dam, beavers. I wanna drop my car keys, then pick it up while my muscles like flop outta my shirt, and girls be like :O. I’m a whore, I admit it. I feel like I try hard to get attention, ultimately to boost my self confidence er ego. I try to stay humble, but lowkey think, swag. It doesn’t matter becauseeeeeee, there’s only one female that I actually have feelings for, iunno why, but, it’s nothing like i’ve ever felt before. People ask me who? I respond sayin iunno, i’m gay, or just laughing it off. It’s not because i’m embarassed, I think it’s more because they really don’t care, if they were a homie, then sure, i’d tell em, and be like wow, i wanna meet her. They’d understand how i fell for her, and I feel like i never wanna get up. I’m corny, but i heard corns good for you, even though you see it in your poop. grodi. I think typing out my ish actually gave me some fuel to bust out this hw and such. Since getting a trainer last week, I feel like i’m actually goin to look like channing tatum by summer, jk, but fersure I will be hotness, then yeah, what bracks. I ordered a Subway today, trying to be healthy, I ordered whole wheat bread, cold cut combo, with all the toppings except jalapenos and banana peppers. Worst decision of my life, it was sauceless and no cheese. I love that shit man. I died. I’d rather ear school lunch, but I instead paid 5 bucks to make and eat this sub. The sacrifices I make for that beach body. I tell people I have a V, and all my buds are like dude, if you’re a guy, you have a V. I’m like …. gay. Mine will look sexy. Hey i’m gay, tumblr is my man diary, unfollow me doe, I still think you’re cute. omgmarie143i<3ubbasdfjkl; <-secretmessage
So, i haven’t posted in a while, i think it’s just because these last few months haven’t been stressful at all since submitting my college applications. My mom is the most worried, she always tells me to pray at night so that i’d get accepted. I get it though, i’m the oldest, and she really wants me to lead. How can I give me brother and sister advice if I have yet to be accepted? Maybe getting accepted would give me more credibility when I give them advice, it’s more towards my brother though, he’s a genius, got 2150 on his SAT on his 2nd try, but his gpa doesn’t correlate, because he’s a lazy ass. It’s annoying, he can go way farther than me, but he just slacks, and that’s going to prevent him from doing sports too. Anyways, the smartest dude in the school is part of the school newspaper, and he randomly messaged me today asking if I had any interesting new year’s resolutions, and I told him I was going to get a 6pack before summer. Yoloswag, because i got this belly right nao, but if I can get that pack, i’ll be shirtless all the time, and i’ll be hotness. Idk why I feel like I have to try really hard so people don’t judge me. It can probably lead to people judging me anyways for trying to hard. I spend alot of money, feeling like i need alot of stuff, but in reality, I have more than enough, I take too much for granted. As I grow older, I hope to appreciate it more, and hopefully pay back my parents, with my success. Since sending in my apps, my friend told me me status has been “on the rise” after the school saw a video of me for the school’s winter/holiday edition episode of the school’s network. I just yolod in, didn’t care if people judged me, because I was just myself, weird ahah. People tell me i’m really funny, and believe it or not, I feel so good about myself afterwards, just as much as when people say i’m goodlooking or something. Recently I was asked to MC the talent show and maybe the valentines day edition for the school network, ahah, can’t wait. This senior year is working out well for me. All I gotta do is pass my classes, get into UC Irvine, and get a 6 pack, then I can look back at the plan I actually created. So today is 1/13/2013, can’t wait to look back on this post and see if I actually did make it. I remember also on 7/26/2012 I had the best accident in my life. Here I am today, still feeling like the luckiest guy ever. I feel like i’m Canadian ahah. The moon looks beautiful today. lul, yeh i’m gay, i wrote a novel. Who reads this doe? what weird thing do I shout out now, hmmm… oh yeah, watchu know about…<3
i think im losing my mind, it’s not even 12/12/12 anymore, but i’m sitting here 1:30 AM. I took a 2 hr nap so technically, it should be 11 if i chose not to nap, right? I really never had much hw this year, but somehow i can stall myself up until 1 or 2 or 3 or whatevs. All i had to do today was study some math, and read a book. My teacher is on crack though, 40 pages omgahhhh. I don’t even read in the first place, so yoloswag. Today was a fun day though, dancing in biology to my fruit playlist. ahah. Got yolked, and then ate vietnamese sandwiches, shoot. Then stalled til now. basically, wth. i’m hungry. Stats test tomorrow </3, i know nothing, becky….
took day off school today, and basically did nothing all day. Feel a bit better, and hopefully good enough to go off to school tomorrow. Bleh 4 day school week for me though wooo!!! but thats because i was dying earlier fuhhhh. senioritis finally has arrived. feels so bad, but soo soo good. bandz a maker her dance… been in my head all night lol. Looked up Usher oldies and all of them were great songs, gonna download em soon and chill in the car with that, vroom vroom.Exciting month of December, Christmas, gifts, family, friends, chillin, good vibes. Ahhhh yeah. Can’t wait to be healthy again, and then it’s finally the senior year i’ve been waiting for! no more apps woo! Gimme that Irvine. k, imma snooze, screw stats hw, so borins. Anddddd I always enjoy sleeping because my mornings are usually great. ahah. 4 hundred asdlkjasd;ljfa;lksdfj
So my UC apps are due this Friday, and I’m trying to finish them by tomorrow. It’s hard to focus on this shit when teachers try to assign you hw and stuff, but I guess I gotta make that trade off in order to make my apps be beast. So basically I got some cool ish off Cyber Monday, and stalled my apps through tumblr, but i still feel like I got alot done tonight. I’ll probably do some more tomorrow morning, but I also want to go exercise so, hmmm, derno. Gotta prioritize. All my stats a right there, except my GPA, it’s a bit off. But i really do feel like UC Irvine is in reach, that’s all i want. My asian people, boba on every corner, awesome environment, a cousin, and not too far away from home. I tell people i’d go to community if I do not get in, and they ask why, and I just think that I can’t imagine myself at any other college. I have the extra currics, I’m not ordinary, what short asian plays Defensive line… I’m a leader, I am definitely not like all the other asians, that’s what i’m tryna emphasize. egh, i’m not cocky though, I just have hope and actually some optimism. I have to make lockdown and stick to the gameplan, no more procrastinating. Fuhhh, I got this. tunechi.
screw, today was such a useless day in school, i did nothing, i might as well stayed home. Lakers lost today and now i’m starting to study at 10 PM, solid time management. hmm, well 3 more weeks of this month and then i send off my apps to college and wait til March to see if I got accepted to UC Irvine. My dream man, it’s in my hands, and I gotta make it happen. I know i have a shot, but, i’m definitely not taking it for granted, it is in reach. I joke around alot, but when I gotta be serious, I have that switch. I really just gotta slap a hoe and destroy those finals. Thanksgiving break next week, definitely something to look forward to while i finalize my application. I have so much crap to do this month, can’t believe it’s almost that time to submit my application for my future. fuhhhhh. man, i can conclude that november of senior year is just plain ratchet. well, toodz, lockdown. tunechi. lol, my logs.
I’ll be there for you. Until you find someone better, find someone who can give you more, I’ll be there. I’ll always be there. Whether it’s late at night or early in the morning, you’ll always have me. I know that I’m not the greatest, I’m not the most talented, or have the most things, but I’ll be there, until you find someone who can do more for you. That’s who I am, the friend that’s always there until someone better comes along.
stolen from my thoughts
so i got the SAT round 4 this weekend, i just want a 2000 man. I’m going to go to school, study SAT, football game, study some more and hopefully brack the test Saturday morning. Sitting here at 1 Am on a Friday Morning. I got like 30 something hours of sleep monday through wednesday it felt amazing. But now I feel like I gotta grind out some homework and what not. It’s nice talking to friends and catching up with them after a while, and it’s like wow, that’s why we used to talk more, we the homies. People drift and I hate that because in reality, there is no way to keep all your friends in your life, or even people you care about in general. That’s why you gotta have that core group of friends you don’t wanna let go, keep em forevs, they’re the homies. Friends that would give a nut for you, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s not even thanksgiving yet, but it is November so I guess I can be a little early on what i’m thankful for. I’m truly a lucky dude, and I want to appreciate it and try my best in life, but sometimes i’m so damn lame. It’s annoying getting lazy and stuff. I need a pause button to get everything done that I want to, but life doesn’t work that way. I really wouldn’t look into the future if I could, I just want to take it a step at a time, no regrets. Fooooo Hunnid. Hi Marie :)